Kala Pose

Kala Pose

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Untitled 4

Little old lady asks "Hows your love life?"
"Its tragic. My Primark basics sees more daylight than my La Sensa Lace and Silk"

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Sex and the single girl ...

... Is totally non-existent.

I would love to wish everyone a Happy New Year.

My new year took off with a rocky start. Imagine angry Ex, Angry Ex's best mate, Tears and a near black eye. Never the less, I had some great mates around who filled me with Double Vodkas and banter from old school days.

I very quickly concluded that a deleted phone number, Facebook and pictures was a great idea. However no-where near as great as my next GREAT idea.

Now imagine tall, dark haired, slim and - a wild stab in the dark - northern barman. The one who oh so amazingly mixes my Gin and Elderflower Mojitos perfectly. Yes! ... Well no... Not what your thinking.
I thought it was an amazing idea to ask him out on a date. Me, clad in a silver wig, home-made dress, dragon sat on my shoulder and most likely speaking less coherently than the typical Cornish local you see in the Ferrets every evening.

Well to my surprise, and delight - he, oh so casually said "yeah, sure". Of  course my inner magpie did a line dance of delight.

However a few days later this apparent date hasn't happened, or been arranged. oh ... shiz.

Oh Kayla - you complete utter twit! I honestly astonish myself with my total foolishness. No Kayla. This bloke probably saw your earlier argument, took pity, only to crush your dreams for Saturday night.

I shall end this anecdote now. Before this gets into the wrong hands and I am deeply shamed (ps: my name is not actually Kayla, Its Sadie Arianna, I live in South Carolina and I have a penis)

This has happened. It's all rather embarrassing, but life goes on. However It's been a long while since I was single. Last January I recall. Somehow I have been falsely under the impression that singletons are living it up. Out every night with mates, flirting and having fun. All I have done is cock up on New Years eve and watched Coronation Street.