Kala Pose

Kala Pose

Monday, 24 November 2014

Absurdity of Happiness

For the last couple of weeks I have been desperate to finish 'The Little Coffee Shop of Kabul' by Deborah Rodriguez. The best opportunity presented itself tonight - just as I came in from work. My parents were still doing decorating work in the hallway and making a load of mess (anyone who knows me well enough knows how much I hate noise, mess and disorder as soon as I get home from work). So I took this opportunity to hide away in my room with half an hours worth of reading left to occupy my time; just until the flat was back to normal. To my utter dismay, my half an hour planned reading time, took 5 mins. All those juicy pages were in fact an interview with the author.

who reads them anyway?

Feeling slightly disgruntled that my vanishing act had failed, I started reading 'Age of Absurdity' by Michael Foley.

The first chapter focuses on happiness, the pursuit of happiness, contentedness blah blah. And I thought, "Am I happy?" Here is a list of why I am happy:

1 - Zooming as fast as I can down Fossgate on my Mountain bike every morning. Its super fun on my mountain bike because the streets are cobble and Road bikes suck. It's a great moment where you can pretend to be a child riding a horse or a dragon again.

2 - When I come home from work, getting from the front door to my bedroom (ninja stylee) without anyone seeing or hearing me. If I get spotted, the chances of my 5 minuets Facebook, reply to messages, general chill out time is rudely disturbed. As I mentioned above, I'm grumpy.

3 - Discovering a band or artist that you have instant chemistry with. That might sound strange, but I have had a longer relationship with David Bowie than any other bloke. That's not code for some weird fantasy land I live in, mind. Last Week I discovered Sallie Ford - she is a beautiful lady and highly recommend giving her a listen. Cue YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xC2dS_RZiM 

4 - RADIATOR PANTS! on a cold morning, or any morning, try placing your pants on a radiator while you shower. Mmmm nice warm bottom.

5 - Good wind direction. Before you snigger, I mean real wind, the stuff blowing outside. In York, when the wind is blowing in a certain direction the whole city smells of chocolate cake. The best sort from your childhood that Mum made on Sundays.

Yes, I am happy.

Saturday, 15 November 2014

Almost 2 years later

Hello Blog.

I had totally forgotten about you, until Jamie was showing me some of his poems he wrote when he was 15. Just like that I thought "Oh, I have a blog".

One improvement I have noticed since my last visit is ~drum-roll~ Automatic spell checker! Hopefully my spelling won't be as foul as all my other posts.

So last time, I was explaining my terrible attempt at asking a guy out on a date. In all honesty, the whole 'girl asking guy out' still hasn't worked in my favour. But at least I have had dates :)

The last two  years have been pretty eventful. Quit University, moved to York, quit the bank, got obsessed with Game of Thrones and got a new job. In an iccle nutshell.

Im going to leave this post as it stands. Two reasons: One, I have nothing interesting to say tonight. Two, Orange is the New Black is on..

Thursday, 3 January 2013

Untitled 4

Little old lady asks "Hows your love life?"
"Its tragic. My Primark basics sees more daylight than my La Sensa Lace and Silk"

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Sex and the single girl ...

... Is totally non-existent.

I would love to wish everyone a Happy New Year.

My new year took off with a rocky start. Imagine angry Ex, Angry Ex's best mate, Tears and a near black eye. Never the less, I had some great mates around who filled me with Double Vodkas and banter from old school days.

I very quickly concluded that a deleted phone number, Facebook and pictures was a great idea. However no-where near as great as my next GREAT idea.

Now imagine tall, dark haired, slim and - a wild stab in the dark - northern barman. The one who oh so amazingly mixes my Gin and Elderflower Mojitos perfectly. Yes! ... Well no... Not what your thinking.
I thought it was an amazing idea to ask him out on a date. Me, clad in a silver wig, home-made dress, dragon sat on my shoulder and most likely speaking less coherently than the typical Cornish local you see in the Ferrets every evening.

Well to my surprise, and delight - he, oh so casually said "yeah, sure". Of  course my inner magpie did a line dance of delight.

However a few days later this apparent date hasn't happened, or been arranged. oh ... shiz.

Oh Kayla - you complete utter twit! I honestly astonish myself with my total foolishness. No Kayla. This bloke probably saw your earlier argument, took pity, only to crush your dreams for Saturday night.

I shall end this anecdote now. Before this gets into the wrong hands and I am deeply shamed (ps: my name is not actually Kayla, Its Sadie Arianna, I live in South Carolina and I have a penis)

This has happened. It's all rather embarrassing, but life goes on. However It's been a long while since I was single. Last January I recall. Somehow I have been falsely under the impression that singletons are living it up. Out every night with mates, flirting and having fun. All I have done is cock up on New Years eve and watched Coronation Street.

Monday, 17 December 2012

Haggis and a Close Encounter With a Banshee

Ok. Admitably I didn't see a Banshee, or hear one. However was allegedly closer to one than comfort allows. I thought I'd make this blog sound more exciting than it is ...

As my title suggests, I have just visited Edinburgh. Loved it. Want to move there. Now.

Didn't meet anyone rude or unfriendly there. A street filled with metal bars over haunted vaults. Sushi and Thai restaurants galore - what more would a girl want?

A local designers shop - that’s what! Oh and I relished in this one. Joey D.

I will spare you the painstaking details of what my hotel was like, or what places I visited and how good my food is. Quite frankly, you don’t give a toss.


In other news: I have moved house and embarked on making a cuddly dragon.

Bye for now

Friday, 26 October 2012

W.C.C & D.M.C

I thought I'd start my night of W.C.C with a blog. What is W.C.C you ask? Its a women's syndrome. No, a Kayla syndrome.

Wine. Chocolate. Corrie.

A trio of perfect. The sun, stars and moon of my evening.

Don't pretend you haven't noticed that W.C.C sounds very similar to W.C. An abbreviation for Bog. Shitter. Lavatorial Facility. I assure you, they are very similar.

Friday night. Instead of W.C.C I should be having a D.M.C.

Drink. Mincing. Chunder.

D.M.C, an exact match to "It's tricky to rock and rhyme, right on time, do de dar" (10 points if the song isn't stuck in your head for the next hour).

The effect of village life is taking it's toll. I'm starting to know the day of the week, judging my the customer from that shop, who comes in at exactly 11:34am to pay in 2 cheques, and withdraw a partridge and a pear tree.

No Steven. You don't get withdrawn everyday without your knowledge.

In other news of Kayla Express. I have discovered another use for farting putty.
It is no longer a rubbery device which emits rude, expletive noises, but a gel which makes your nails look awesome.
In my reference to the rant about nail varnish. I have corrected the issue and discovered nail parlors. The once, hippyesuqe "no chemicals" girl who hung nettles in an airing cuppbord is now chemically enhanced. With farting putty on said nails.

All for now

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

An oddity within a relationship

Have you ever been around an acquaintance or somebody you have just met and think they smell really bad of B.O, or their facial hair makes them look like a bad hippy from the 60's? Or that they just need a plain good wash. But you will never tell that person your thoughts. You would rather wrinkle up your nose and think of roses and ignore that smudge of dirt above their eyebrow?

Yet within a relationship does...
- "Put the toilet seat down"
- "No crumbs in the butter"
- "You smell"
- "Have a shave"
... sound familiar?

If you think how much this acquaintance means to you in comparison to your partner. Have a good ponder! Your partner makes you laugh with silly 'inside' jokes. Introduces you to new people. (Hopefully) Gives you mind blowing sex. However the acquaintance may not enter your head unless you bump into them.

Why do people insult their partner more than someone who means jack-shit? Really doesn't make an ounce of good sense. I'm definitely guilty of doing so. In fact I can think of some good examples from today.
Knarky comments and snide remarks surely should push someone away from you. But it doesn't. Are insults just merely playful banter? An excuse to exert some energy?
The more I think about it, I really couldn't give two craps if the toilet seat is up or down as long as I have a good ol'e ****.

Once the honey-moon phase of romance and lust has worn off. Maybe the banter of generic annoyances between couples become a steering device of a relationship in replacement of newly found excitement.
When your first dating someone new all you think about is when your next seeing them, wondering what they're into etc etc. Once this information has been found humans have a need to have another conflict and preoccupation.

At the end of the day, I'm not entirely sure where this is leading to. I have had a few cocktails and am now going to sleep.
Night, kay.