no thoughts whilst sat down ...

i am sat on my laptop drinking yet another glass of wine - taking ages to write this as my typings pretty dodgy - thinking she has nothing to say.

so annoying cos im bored and writing entertains me for 5 mins or so. but no. i have nothing intruguing or exiting to talk about. these ideas only flow when i am on a college bus or public bus. problem. i dont have a laptop with internet then =S. so i am sorry guys, you can deal with my semi-tipsy ramblings about how i keep backspacing every now and again because i actualy spelt it - noe anf again because i actualy speilt it.


oh, one thing which was exhilarating (i think thats the word tonight, i dunno) last night james came over and was uber tired and he fell asleep. yes interesting. so he went home early because it was "getting dark" and he didnt want to fall asleep when he was driving. fair enough. so he went and i said for him to txt me when he got home so i know he isnt dead and been mulled over by a great tractor. half an hour later. no text. hour later, nothing, so i send him one. another hour later, nothing. so i go to bed with a head full of car crashes, hospitals and all that sort of stuff. 12pm i get a txt.


my cat is looking at me. she wants to come in but i dont want to get up because im comfy. she should move out. its almost time for her to go to cat uni. she shouldnt deffer for a year. silly cat.

the week is over!

Finlay this week is over. O glorious Saturday!

been such a rush this week trying to meet my Media deadline. its been fine all the 2 months working on it until this week. problems with the sound, computer not rendering etc etc... so again spent barely any time at home. my parents almost forgot i lived there. however, its good practice for when i go to uni. If i make it into to uni (note to James - dont hurt me for my negativity)

but its all done and dusted. and now i might be able to look after myself for a bit. as i did yesterday. hot bath with a glass of baileys, book and newton Faulkner. heavenly times

plan for next week! CHILL! UBER CHILLAGE! (despite the English coursework and media evaluation coursework, timed essay, production diary, CV, looking for a job and any more work my lecturers give me)

you all need to know...

the world as it is known is over! over! maple story is dead! it doesnt work anymore! way too traumatic to comprehend! now i cant waste hours and hours on killing slimes and completing quests. soo not fair!

the world, this life, is now poitnless. nothing can fill the hole in my heart. the void where maple was will grow unitll it consumes me with eternal darkness.


~breaks down into sobs~

is writing a blog but has nothing to say

yes. erm. im al blank. nothing to inform you lovelies about. i bought flowers today. thats the exiting news. walked up to tesco, bought lillies, came home. wheeey.

thoughts while writing my english essay

why are boyfriends hoodies always better than your own clothes? men always seem to choose the cosyest, warmest hoddies ever. wheras my stupid cardigans only take a pinch of cold air away from you. but i am tucked up in james's hoodie as snug as a bug making a copious ammout of english work bareable. no joke. it would be horrible if i was cold.

on the english front ... it isnt going happily. i was doig fine researching about femminism and all that rubbish, untill i get to the actual writing bit. how can i condense the content of 8 web pages into one consise paragraph? burrrh. scrap that for a while ... drink a strange flavour tea (i ahve found out that tea actualy has no taste, it is purely an aroma) and chatter untill i discuss fruit and how it is sexual while sublty inserting a bit of inequality somewhere.

WHY? do men always get the better deal?

have you noticed that men always get the better end of the deal of being human? it has just occurred to me that they have all the privileges while us women have the raw deal.

1- Peeing
men can just up and go whenever or wherever they want. in a toilet, into a bush, off a cliff, and if they are anti-christ, up a church. us women have to find a toilet which is reasonable, wait in a 10 minuet long queue, behind a woman who had a kid who you know is going to take ages because kid fanny about half the time. when you Finlay get to a cubicle, theres no loo roll. this mean you have to just think 'fuck it' and go for it anyway, or wait another two minuets, risking your pride until the next is free. then theres the issue of the loo roll. its either too soft so it disintegrates, or too hard and hurts your underside. men, you dont know how lucky your pee, shake and go technique is.

2- Moods
man = on/off, good/bad, horny/very horny

woman = happy(mildly, very, extremely, ecstatic)/sad(meh, 'i think im going to cry', hysterical, 'i need a shoulder', 'i need a councilor')

Amused (this will keep me going for hours, ill get bored in a minuet, im pretending to be amused, haha, your penis is small)/ bored (hurry up bus, hurry up boyfriend/husband), 'what your saying is dull', i have finished all the housework, i have all my housework to do, i cant be bothered to cook, i have work in 10 minuets)

horny (quick kiss, foreplay, tease, sex, whatever else you might be into)/uninterested(you have bad breath, you shouldn't have eaten so many pies at Christmas, had a hard days work, im too tired, your not so great in bed, id rather have the gardener, go to the gym and ill consider it)

time of the month (LEAVE ME F***ING ALONE)


3- sexual organs
men- penis goes up, jiggle it around, hey presto thats my work done

woman- 'have i remembered Johnny's' 'did i remember to take my pill' 'coil? implant?' 'i might be pregnant' 'am i sexy enough' 'will he notice the mole on my bum' 'is there supposed to be hair there' 'shizzer i forgot to shave my legs' 'does it smell nice' 'damn, its the time of the month' 'does it matter i had curry last night?' 'i have a weak bladder' 'i have a cold, will i sound stupid?''what if he wants anal' 'shall i wear my corset, maids outfit or girl boxers?'

4- pregnancy
men - woman "honey, im pregnant" man "fuck that" runs away

woman- morning sickness, feeling rubbish, getting fat, ugly maternity clothes, aches and pains, lack of sex, cravings for cake, slow, cant work, stay at home, then the giving birth .....


i think that i have proved my point a little. any man going to prove me wrong - go on and entertain me =]

untitled 3

today is one of those days when you feel like you are sittingin an eternal pit of misery (you have permission to call me emo). honestly dont want to talk or see anyone. just have 'peace' and quiet and 'chill' by myself. half tempted to go itno college later than normal to avoid everyone again. gaaah one of those days where i dont like anyone. haha. yes im lame.

not my fault though, been over worked - stressover flowing out of the top of my head, so that last night, i fell asleep on the bus and that was that. gone, all energy left me and barely moved for hours haha. went to bed at 8pm woke up at 12 today, still unable to move. this is what college has done, keeps pushing and pushing ignoring the fact that people may have personal crap going on.

got driving lesson in 5 mins too. yaaay.




on a plus, had a giggle yesterday helping her with her photography. she made me into a sunshine (contradictory between my mood today. today id be a great dirty rain cloud) .............. i would put a picture up but my phone wont let me ¬¬

thoughts while sat re-drafting my english essay

i am going to fail. i am going to fail. i am going to fail. there is no way i will pass with my hideous grade for the first draft. once again, i am going to fail.





yeaah, check out my self confidence =)


i am sat next to lottie who is chanting "mention me" - so to lottie. you are mentioned in my fantabulous blog. =D

love you!


meh. i forgot my lunch. bad days