Kala Pose

Kala Pose

Friday, 26 October 2012

W.C.C & D.M.C

I thought I'd start my night of W.C.C with a blog. What is W.C.C you ask? Its a women's syndrome. No, a Kayla syndrome.

Wine. Chocolate. Corrie.

A trio of perfect. The sun, stars and moon of my evening.

Don't pretend you haven't noticed that W.C.C sounds very similar to W.C. An abbreviation for Bog. Shitter. Lavatorial Facility. I assure you, they are very similar.

Friday night. Instead of W.C.C I should be having a D.M.C.

Drink. Mincing. Chunder.

D.M.C, an exact match to "It's tricky to rock and rhyme, right on time, do de dar" (10 points if the song isn't stuck in your head for the next hour).

The effect of village life is taking it's toll. I'm starting to know the day of the week, judging my the customer from that shop, who comes in at exactly 11:34am to pay in 2 cheques, and withdraw a partridge and a pear tree.

No Steven. You don't get withdrawn everyday without your knowledge.

In other news of Kayla Express. I have discovered another use for farting putty.
It is no longer a rubbery device which emits rude, expletive noises, but a gel which makes your nails look awesome.
In my reference to the rant about nail varnish. I have corrected the issue and discovered nail parlors. The once, hippyesuqe "no chemicals" girl who hung nettles in an airing cuppbord is now chemically enhanced. With farting putty on said nails.

All for now

Wednesday, 24 October 2012

An oddity within a relationship

Have you ever been around an acquaintance or somebody you have just met and think they smell really bad of B.O, or their facial hair makes them look like a bad hippy from the 60's? Or that they just need a plain good wash. But you will never tell that person your thoughts. You would rather wrinkle up your nose and think of roses and ignore that smudge of dirt above their eyebrow?

Yet within a relationship does...
- "Put the toilet seat down"
- "No crumbs in the butter"
- "You smell"
- "Have a shave"
... sound familiar?

If you think how much this acquaintance means to you in comparison to your partner. Have a good ponder! Your partner makes you laugh with silly 'inside' jokes. Introduces you to new people. (Hopefully) Gives you mind blowing sex. However the acquaintance may not enter your head unless you bump into them.

Why do people insult their partner more than someone who means jack-shit? Really doesn't make an ounce of good sense. I'm definitely guilty of doing so. In fact I can think of some good examples from today.
Knarky comments and snide remarks surely should push someone away from you. But it doesn't. Are insults just merely playful banter? An excuse to exert some energy?
The more I think about it, I really couldn't give two craps if the toilet seat is up or down as long as I have a good ol'e ****.

Once the honey-moon phase of romance and lust has worn off. Maybe the banter of generic annoyances between couples become a steering device of a relationship in replacement of newly found excitement.
When your first dating someone new all you think about is when your next seeing them, wondering what they're into etc etc. Once this information has been found humans have a need to have another conflict and preoccupation.

At the end of the day, I'm not entirely sure where this is leading to. I have had a few cocktails and am now going to sleep.
Night, kay.

Monday, 22 October 2012

The Cretin and The Skeever

Hello Blogger it's been, oooh, a while since I have seen your face. About 2 years perhaps. Although for a lack of recent content, I've had  page views from Central America, Germany and a country where my geography fails me.

So why have I come back after so long to divulge into ego-centrical, self absorbed chit-chat with myself? Mainly to escape from the addictive mind-game of Facebook. After reading an article about how Facebook and Twitter affects the Personal and Social lives of many people, I have resolved to stop my early morning, elevenses, lunch time, mid-afternoon, bus ride home, home time, dinner time and evening Facebook checks and get on with a thing called 'real life'. Know what it is? I'm not too sure myself.

Another reason is being plain fed up of being force fed the ongoings of 'The Cretin and The Skeever' every 20 minutes. Don't know what I'm on about? That's just as well. Trust me.


So, To old readers - Hello again! I apologise for being away so long.
New readers - Hello and welcome.Please sit back, enjoy and feel free to comment on my once sided, often negative views. Or maybe correct some bad grammatical errors.

First rant of the year - Lovely

Have you ever been called lovely by a friend. The compliment usually goes as follows:
"I'll call you later lovely" or
"Hey, haven't spoken in agessss, how have you been loveliness? xxxxx"
These comments often precede in no call (or even text), or no email of sincere sympathies and apologies after you have spilled your soul over how upset you are over your recent break up.

This 'lovely' is a fake compliment. I repeat - fake compliment.

Surely a real friend can compliment you in a more personal way. Maybe you have a killer dress sense, or ability to empathise with your every predicament in life. Lovely just shouldn't cut it. Lovely is something you call a cute dog in the street:
"oooh isn't he lovely"
"Actually. She's a She"
Lovely doesn't even recognise your gender!

In my personal opinion, this 'compliment' is used to manipulate feelings. Make you feel liked and valued by your, friend, when actually they most likely can't think of anything to say other than the unimaginative, plain and empty 'lovely'.

All for now