Haggis and a Close Encounter With a Banshee

Ok. Admitably I didn't see a Banshee, or hear one. However was allegedly closer to one than comfort allows. I thought I'd make this blog sound more exciting than it is ...

As my title suggests, I have just visited Edinburgh. Loved it. Want to move there. Now.

Didn't meet anyone rude or unfriendly there. A street filled with metal bars over haunted vaults. Sushi and Thai restaurants galore - what more would a girl want?

A local designers shop - that’s what! Oh and I relished in this one. Joey D.

I will spare you the painstaking details of what my hotel was like, or what places I visited and how good my food is. Quite frankly, you don’t give a toss.

 

In other news: I have moved house and embarked on making a cuddly dragon.

Bye for now

W.C.C & D.M.C

I thought I'd start my night of W.C.C with a blog. What is W.C.C you ask? Its a women's syndrome. No, a Kayla syndrome.

Wine. Chocolate. Corrie.

A trio of perfect. The sun, stars and moon of my evening.

Don't pretend you haven't noticed that W.C.C sounds very similar to W.C. An abbreviation for Bog. Shitter. Lavatorial Facility. I assure you, they are very similar.

Friday night. Instead of W.C.C I should be having a D.M.C.

Drink. Mincing. Chunder.

D.M.C, an exact match to "It's tricky to rock and rhyme, right on time, do de dar" (10 points if the song isn't stuck in your head for the next hour).

The effect of village life is taking it's toll. I'm starting to know the day of the week, judging my the customer from that shop, who comes in at exactly 11:34am to pay in 2 cheques, and withdraw a partridge and a pear tree.

No Steven. You don't get withdrawn everyday without your knowledge.

In other news of Kayla Express. I have discovered another use for farting putty.
It is no longer a rubbery device which emits rude, expletive noises, but a gel which makes your nails look awesome.
In my reference to the rant about nail varnish. I have corrected the issue and discovered nail parlors. The once, hippyesuqe "no chemicals" girl who hung nettles in an airing cuppbord is now chemically enhanced. With farting putty on said nails.

All for now
Kay

An oddity within a relationship

Have you ever been around an acquaintance or somebody you have just met and think they smell really bad of B.O, or their facial hair makes them look like a bad hippy from the 60's? Or that they just need a plain good wash. But you will never tell that person your thoughts. You would rather wrinkle up your nose and think of roses and ignore that smudge of dirt above their eyebrow?

Yet within a relationship does...
- "Put the toilet seat down"
- "No crumbs in the butter"
- "You smell"
- "Have a shave"
... sound familiar?

If you think how much this acquaintance means to you in comparison to your partner. Have a good ponder! Your partner makes you laugh with silly 'inside' jokes. Introduces you to new people. (Hopefully) Gives you mind blowing sex. However the acquaintance may not enter your head unless you bump into them.

Why do people insult their partner more than someone who means jack-shit? Really doesn't make an ounce of good sense. I'm definitely guilty of doing so. In fact I can think of some good examples from today.
Knarky comments and snide remarks surely should push someone away from you. But it doesn't. Are insults just merely playful banter? An excuse to exert some energy?
The more I think about it, I really couldn't give two craps if the toilet seat is up or down as long as I have a good ol'e ****.

Once the honey-moon phase of romance and lust has worn off. Maybe the banter of generic annoyances between couples become a steering device of a relationship in replacement of newly found excitement.
When your first dating someone new all you think about is when your next seeing them, wondering what they're into etc etc. Once this information has been found humans have a need to have another conflict and preoccupation.


At the end of the day, I'm not entirely sure where this is leading to. I have had a few cocktails and am now going to sleep.
Night, kay.

The Cretin and The Skeever

Hello Blogger it's been, oooh, a while since I have seen your face. About 2 years perhaps. Although for a lack of recent content, I've had  page views from Central America, Germany and a country where my geography fails me.

So why have I come back after so long to divulge into ego-centrical, self absorbed chit-chat with myself? Mainly to escape from the addictive mind-game of Facebook. After reading an article about how Facebook and Twitter affects the Personal and Social lives of many people, I have resolved to stop my early morning, elevenses, lunch time, mid-afternoon, bus ride home, home time, dinner time and evening Facebook checks and get on with a thing called 'real life'. Know what it is? I'm not too sure myself.

Another reason is being plain fed up of being force fed the ongoings of 'The Cretin and The Skeever' every 20 minutes. Don't know what I'm on about? That's just as well. Trust me.

Skyrim?

So, To old readers - Hello again! I apologise for being away so long.
New readers - Hello and welcome.Please sit back, enjoy and feel free to comment on my once sided, often negative views. Or maybe correct some bad grammatical errors.

First rant of the year - Lovely

Have you ever been called lovely by a friend. The compliment usually goes as follows:
"I'll call you later lovely" or
"Hey, haven't spoken in agessss, how have you been loveliness? xxxxx"
These comments often precede in no call (or even text), or no email of sincere sympathies and apologies after you have spilled your soul over how upset you are over your recent break up.

This 'lovely' is a fake compliment. I repeat - fake compliment.

Surely a real friend can compliment you in a more personal way. Maybe you have a killer dress sense, or ability to empathise with your every predicament in life. Lovely just shouldn't cut it. Lovely is something you call a cute dog in the street:
"oooh isn't he lovely"
"Actually. She's a She"
Lovely doesn't even recognise your gender!

In my personal opinion, this 'compliment' is used to manipulate feelings. Make you feel liked and valued by your, friend, when actually they most likely can't think of anything to say other than the unimaginative, plain and empty 'lovely'.

All for now
Kay

5 weeks since i wrote on here ... wow iv been busy

FUUUU! i just dropped my pencil case and all my stationary is scatterd on the floor.

why is stationary called stationary? pencils, pens and rubbers have nothing to do with stations... my biro doesnt look a thing like a bus. also they dont stay still and 'stationary'. the whole point if them is for them to move, hopefuly wirting something important instead of drawring a penis which would be worrying if a penis actualy looked like that.

ok, so i dont write to you for 5 weeks, and all i write about is flipping pencils.your probobly thinking, why did i bother reading this... that woman is a flippin' nut house.

hmm... something worthwhile ... iv had two jobs in the past 5 weeks.i started at a restarant for ... 2-3 weeks, but they let me go as it wasnt 'economicaly viable' ... in simple terms, you arnt worth the money were paying you. ok, that me being pessimisic and cynical. the buisness was kind of going under.

in a way im glad im not there still. its thestrangest thing, but it made me cringe so much when my boss said 'parma ham and melon'. dont ask how, just did.

now im at DA BANK! which i actualy enjoy, the girls are a giggle, and my boss is barely there cos the lucky sod gets holidays left, right, and centre. its simple what i hav to do, but theres so many of thw simple things which make it a big mind fizzle. i hate it when a woman rushes in, obviously has to head off in the next milli-second with an envelope containing £3000, in old 20 pound notes. i have to check the right ammount, and for forgeries. 'sorry love, your gonna be here a while'. so you start off ... 20, 40, 60, 80, 1, 20, 40, 60, 80, 2 etc. then double count a note, so you start again ... 20, 40, 60, 80, 1 ... you et through two wads of notes and on your third, you count £9980 ... bum.... double check you havnt missed a note. nope. get someone else to check. nope still £9980. run it through the machine .. only 49 notes there. 'sorry miss whatever, but your £20 short.' 'no im not, i checked it myself, have you counted it right!' .....'*@!!$^90@' ' you just watched me woman'


ok, it hasnt happend like that before... yet. my time will come.

well, its 23.15, and im rather tired. goodnight all and i hope you enjoyed my blog for tonight. see you in 5 weeks.

what is wrong with helford?

OK. what the hell was wrong with Helford building today? walking down the stairs from English was like walking into the bowels of someone who had egg and cress sandwich for lunch. flippin' pongin'!


i wont have a blog all about foul smells in case your scared.


but on the subject of smell - I'm tired of people sticking their noses in other peoples business. if someone wants to tell you something, they will off their own back! i don't want to tell every tom dick and harry what someone texts me, or what i talked about last Friday night. next ill be asked what colour my shit is or something. ~sigh~

anyway on a lighter note, it was finally sunny today! i can almost feel the beach calling me over! this year, screw being mature and adult but I'm going to take my old inflatable whales down the Beach and have fun. I'm kid in the eyes of the law for 2 more months, i got to make the most of my fading child days.

bloody hormones!

one thing i hate about being a girl is our hormones. i hate them more than not being able to pee easily in public. i do feel sorry for men sometimes when our bodies become inhuman and turn into a flesh covered hormonal soup!


ok, so my hormones may be a bit artificial and pill induced. But when you have had to miss 3 days of going doctors to get more pills, and you are left uncovered and vulnerable to the worlds daily stresses - Oh god, i am a monster!


these past few days iv been ecstatic one second, and wanting to jump in front of a train the next. last night on a relaxing walk to calm myself down i ended up seriously considering resigning from the world of human and seeing what life would be like as a salve in hell. the littlest tinniest thing to potentially lower my mood has made me look like that volcano in iceland ... erupt and the devastation lasts for weeks.


on the up-side - i Finally went to the doctors and in a few days i will be the 'normal' kayla everyone knows. and all the men i know, especially James, can come out of their hiding places.